I've Got To Do This
by hekate's blackest blood
Summary: After hurting the one he loves, Sasuke must go on a journey inside himself to find the answers to his problems in order to regain the brightness of his future.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 **

Things were not supposed to be this way….I was supposed to be with Naruto! Me, not some lowlife, undeserving, filthy creature. I suppose I had better start at the beginning. Yes, that would be best.

My name is Sasuske Uchiha. I'm in love with my best friend. I know, I know. How Cliché, right? Get over it. This is my story, and I'm going to tell it. Once it's out in the open, then perhaps I can start to make things right again. Then, Naruto will be mine again.

I'll show him I'm not the bastard he saw in the beginning. This is not a self pity story, I swear. I need to get this out of my system and then I'll be able to get on with things. It all started with a simple class in our local public high school. Nothing special really. Just your typical class. Algebra 2, actually.

I was rather a hollow shell at that point in the day. Going through the motions of being a good student, really. I was in the middle of my pointless note-taking when the door slammed open and my future walked through the door, as he frequently did.. He was bright, blond, and happy. Smiling at the teacher, who was in the middle of something unimportant, he said, "sorry I'm late! I had to talk to the principal about my classes for next year." The teacher waved him to his seat and continued to write. She, was a hollow shell at this point in the day too, I suppose. He smiled at me when he sat. I greeted him with my customary greeting for most people: a grunt of acknowledgement.

"Hey Sasuke, do ya wanna come over after school today," he asked. I looked at him. He looked so hopeful, like a puppy that is looking a future owner after being days away from being put to sleep. "Sure," I said. And that answer was my fate being sealed.

**Author's Note: So, any good? I know, my grammar isn't that great, but besides that….What do you think? Review? If people want, I'll continue. If not, then I'll probably leave this as it is and forget it. Let me know if it's good, or if it sounds way to similar to another story. I know there are a lot of Sasuke/Naruto stories that involve AU school stuff, and drama, but other than that….Still, if it sounds super like something else, let me know. I don't want to look as if I'm stealing work. Again, please review. ****J **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I suppose I should take a moment to explain something. I am trying to find out how to fix myself. I did something terribly wrong, and now I have to find out how to avoid doing it again. So I'm writing out everything. No mistake will stay hidden from me now. I guess you could call this a journal of sorts. I got the idea, surprisingly, from someone who didn't strike me as the writing type.

His name is Lee. He and I have the same English class together. He, in his usual fit of concern over my "youthful wellbeing," suggested that I "write out things so I can stay ever fit in the examination of my youthful mind." I didn't bother to answer him at the time, in fact I am pretty sure that I was only half aware that he was screeching something at me. Still, I remember this part of the one-sided conversation, and I'm glad for it. If it actually works, I'll have to do something in a show of gratitude….Not that I would reveal that his advice actually helped me.

Anyway, back to the actual story. Naruto had just invited me to come over to his house, and I had accepted. I could never really deny him anything when he looked at me in that certain way. Contrary to popular belief, I really do care for him. After we had our plans to meet in front of the school, the rest of the day seemed to drag. The clock seemed to go slower, and slower with each passing second. Just as I was at the point where my Uchiha control was about to be tested, the final bell rang.

I didn't bother with going to my locker, I just hurried to be at the front of the school. I wanted to look as cool and nonchalant as possible so Naruto would be impressed. Looking back on it, that was probably my first mistake. All it did was make me look like I had a superiority complex. While I'll admit I probably do have one, just a small one, It was never towards Naruto. I didn't have to wait for much longer before he came rushing out of the school, in his usual way of hyper and happy.

"Hey Sasuke!" He smiled as he said it, as big as could, which is how he always smiles. So sincere, and perfect. Oh, to have him smile like that at me again. His face brightens and he looks so happy. It could even make the silent and deadly become soft and gentle. Ah, but I digress. So, together we walked to his home. He did most of the talking, but it's not like he minded. I gave him answers when he asked, opinions on some of his more outlandish ideas. It was comfortable. It always had been between us.

Once we got to his house, he immediately went to making his after school snack: Ramen. It was his favorite, and we had been friends for so long, he never even bothered to ask if I wanted any. The answer was always no. I sat down at the kitchen table as he went through the motions of making his food. "Sasuke…?" I looked up at him when he spoke my name, it was spoken so unsure, so soft. It instantly made me want to take up into my arms and kiss him and calm whatever was making him so nervous. Of course, that was not an available response, so I settled for a simple "hm?"

His hand was nervously rubbing the back of his head, and he was blushing. It colored his cheeks such a lovely shade of pink. He swallowed, and then asked the question that I had been dying for years to hear. "S-Sasuke, do you like me…? I mean, as in like-like. I'd totally understand if you didn't, It must be pretty weird to hear that, and I'm a guy and you're a guy. You know, just forget I said anything at all. I'm sure that it's just the lack of ramen in my system that's making me ask such stupid questions like that." All the while he had speaking, he had been gaining speed. He was obviously uncomfortable, and fidgety. I slowly stood up for my place at the table, and walked over to him. "Naruto," I said, "You are such a loser." Then, I tilted his head up, and I kissed him for the first time.

**Author's Note: Okay, second chapter! Please review! Oh, and I forgot to mention, I own nothing of Naruto! I have a basic plan for this, but if anybody wants to contribute ideas or advice, just let me know, and if I use it I'll be sure to give you full credit for the help! : )**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

The first kiss was the sweetest thing I had ever tasted. Naruto was so soft against me, and he didn't fight or resist. Oh, how I loved to kiss him. And, after that first kiss I could never get enough of them. That is my second mistake, I do believe. Whenever he had anything to say, I wouldn't listen. I was to preoccupied with his body. It's not like I didn't want to listen, I was just distracted. Really, if he wanted me to listen then he shouldn't have waited to talk to me when I had not been hours without his lips under mine.

Wait, wait, I can't blame Naruto for that. I've always tried to push my mistakes on someone else. And once Naruto left me I promised I wasn't going to do that anymore. I think that will be one of the hardest things I've got to do. It's so easy to blame people, especially my asshole of an older brother. I mean really, he really deserves to get blamed for things! I'd bet money that his face is in the dictionary next to the word "Ass." But, I'm getting off subject again. I suppose I really need to stop ranting so much. Anyway, after that first kiss Naruto and I were together as much as we possibly could be.

He was very touchy, and happy. Well, he was always like that, but he was even more so after we started dating. As for myself, I can't say I changed all that much. I never really opened up to him, I still didn't talk a lot, and the only time I touched him first was when we were doing something that involved him being underneath me. Looking back on it, I can honestly say that I wish I had done things better, showed him that I cared. That, was mistake number three. And as most people well know, it's three strikes and you're out.

He got tired of all my bullshit. We would fight constantly, it was worse than before, since we were in a relationship. Our fights often ended in him storming out of my house, or kicking me out of his and then him crying his eyes out. He must have thought I had no soul. Even when he would break down in front of me, which was something he would very rarely do, I didn't comfort him. I didn't know how. I'm not good with things like that, see. Comforting people is not my forte, especially if it is a person I care deeply for. And, of course Naruto, is the one I care most for in life. I am good at excuse making, as you can tell, and that's what I did. I pushed all the blame away from me, and on to him.

Those three mistakes were the friction that rubbed the rope raw. All that was allowing me to hold on to him was a piece of twine, weak and next to breaking. Everyone saw what type of horrible person I was, and they all encouraged Naruto to get away from me. He wouldn't listen. He had always been unendingly loyal to me, regardless of all the shit I did or said. I was a few words shy of being emotionally abusive, I'm sure, however I can proudly say I never hit him once in my life. If I did something like that, I'd save everyone the trouble of hunting me down, and just kill myself,

See, it was never ever, ever my intention to hurt him. I was just new to relationships (Note to self: Work harder on the excuse making, and the not doing it thing). I took for granted his love. I've already mentioned that, but it's true. I know without a doubt what finally caused my little piece of twine to give out, and that was one man by the name of Orochimaru. He is a close friend of my father's, and something of an uncle to myself and Itachi. Itachi still considers him an Uncle, but after what he did, I'm not sure that I can look at him without ripping his eyeballs out with my bare hands.

**Author's Note: Woo! 3rd**** chapter is FINALLY out! I didn't forget about it, I just wasn't sure I would continue it. Now I am most certainly going to continue it, thanks to my kohai, akatsukibunni95, I suggest you go and check her stuff out! It is lovely. ^^ Thanks for reading this far dears, I hope you enjoyed. And, as always, I love you!**


	4. Chapter 4

_**CHAPTER 4**_

_Orochimaru, that son of a bitch, he's the straw that broke the camel's back. He is one of the reasons that Naruto left me. I can't even think about it without getting angry. You see, it was a summer afternoon, and Naruto was supposed to be coming over so that we could hang out. Everyone knew that, I let everyone know that we needed to be left alone so that we could do some…"bonding." Anyway, I had just finished getting things ready for his visit, when Orochimaru decided to join me on the sofa._

_He always had a weird touchy nature. His hand were always caressing my shoulders, or resting on the back of my neck. I had complained to him about it before. But he told me that I was overreacting. Uncles, were allowed to be close to their nephews. So, I just started to ignore it. He was not going to stop, no matter how much I complained. So, I was sitting on the sofa, waiting for my Naruto to show up, and that son of a bitch, pins me to the sofa!_

_The fucking sofa! He was over top of me and, as I opened my mouth to protest, he shoved his overly long tongue inside. I struggled against him, I knew if Naruto walked in on this, he would assume the worst of me. And, like some horrible nightmare, the door opened. I heard his gasp. It sounded so shocked and hurt. I struggled hard to get free, even after I heard the door slam loudly. Finally, I kneed him where it hurts the most and rolled out from under him._

_Naruto was long gone by then. He was fast, and if he didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be. All I could do was wait, and hope that he would come and talk to me soon. I waited for three days before he finally called me. It was obvious he had been crying, and he sounded like he was broken inside. He was quick with what he had to say. In fact, he didn't give me time defend myself at all. My worst fears came to life and he told me that he never wanted to see me again, that I was a horrible boyfriend, a horrible person, and most of all that I was untrustworthy with someone's heart._

_I felt like I had been slapped in the face. Naruto, my true love, was breaking up with me. I couldn't say anything. It felt like I had swallowed my own tongue, it felt like I was chocking and suffocating. Naruto was my air, and now that he decided to leave, I had nothing on which to sustain myself. I hung up on him. Nothing I could have said would have helped. Naruto is very stubborn, and once he believes something, he won't change his mind unless he has proof as to why he should change it._

_The sad part was, this was only the beginning of the horrible happenings. None of which I can blame Naruto for. It was my fault to begin with, and he was just trying to ease his own hurt. You see, it was late at night about a week later, and I was just about to lay down and get my eight hours of staring at my ceiling in the dark, since I couldn't sleep properly any more. And, I heard a noise coming from Itachi's room. It sounded like moaning, and of course, I drew the conclusion of him having sex with one of his various well-used sex toys. _

_I got out of the bed so I could tell him to shut up. Of course, he usually ignored me, but his toys usually didn't like to be walked in on, and they'd be too turned off to continue. That was my goal, after all, he was interrupting my ceiling staring and I intended to interrupt his sex. I pushed open his door, and it felt like fate had bitch slapped me to the ground. Itachi was sitting on his bed, and in his lap, on his cock was my Naruto. _

_As I was staring at them like an idiot Itachi took the time to actually ask me a question: "Hello there little brother. Enjoying the show?" I glared at him with my best death glare before telling him what a bastard he was. I was actually surprised that Naruto didn't scream at me to get out. He was always very self-conscious when we made love, and it disturbed me to see how much he seemed to change in that aspect. In fact, the only thing he did to show his discomfort was to cling tight to my asshole of an older brother._

"_Foolish little brother. Don't you know how to take care of anyone but yourself? Naru-chan told me all about the horrible things you did. He needed me to comfort him" He smirked at me, his dark eyes gleaming in a calculating manner, like he was dissecting me, and my reactions. My eyes were drawn to his lower half as he thrust into my Naruto, causing him to moan. "I suggest you leave now, Sasuke." He then leaned down to mark the boy that was mine, staring at me, as if to challenge me. I couldn't do it. If Naruto was happy with him, then I couldn't start something in front of him. Not, yet. Not when I hadn't finished learning about my mistakes. I slammed the door close behind me as I left his room, and that night I spent the night in the farthest room away from Itachi's._

_**Author's Note: Fourth Chapter! I'm so excited that this story is really getting underway now.**____**So we've found out what Orochimaru did, and we found out who Sasuke needs to steal Naruto back from. Now all that's left is to have some obsessive stalking, some flashbacks, some voyeurism, and some falling apart. Then this story will be done. Hmm….Something seems off with Itachi, yes? I think he's planning something. Yup. ; ) Anyway, I love you and I hope you have had a nice time reading so far! **_


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